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Pain during sex isn’t totally uncommonwe’ve all felt the cringe that follows notusing enough lube.
Design by Channing Smith
If you do have any pain during the action, it’s important to pay attention.
Are you in an uncomfortable position?
What is your emotional comfort like?
Do you have any infections?
Where are you in your cycle?
That will help your ob-gyn figure out for sure what’s going on.
These experts break down what might be causing you painand when to talk to your doctor.
Youre not lubricated enough.
Having sex when you’re not fully lubed up can be seriously uncomfortable.
(There’s a reason Use more lube appears on every list ofanal sex tips.)
The tissues are not engorged and lubricated and ready, says Dr. Coady.
Luckily, there’s a pretty easy fix.
If you’re not getting naturally aroused, spend more time on foreplay.
But even with foreplay, some people need a little extra help (and that’s totally okay).
Look for a lube that’s water-based (i.e., formulated without oil) if you’re using condoms.
Maude Shine Personal Lubricant
Sephora
Isabel Fay Water-Based Lubricant
Amazon
2.
You used a new personal care product.
Another major culprit of transient pain is certain personal care products, says Dr. Coady.
These include creams and douches and contact irritants such as soaps, she says.
You have an infection.
Yeast infections and urinary tract infections can make sex really uncomfortable.
Your doctor will likely advise you to forgo sex while you’re being treated for the infection.
Yeast infections are easily treatable, Dr. Harris adds, unless its a kind of resistant yeast.
A doctor will do tests to help you figure that out.
Youre constipated or bloated.
Both of these issuesespecially bloatcan cause pelvic pain during sex.
But, as Dr. Coady points out, they should be short-lived.
If it’s a consistent problem, let your doctor know.
You have a condition called vestibulodynia.
Youre having a reaction to birth control pills.
Sex can be painful, and they cannot have penetration.
Treatment for that is to stop birth control pills and apply an estrogen-testosterone compound and some physical therapy.
Usually, after three to six months, they’re feeling much better.
Your pelvic-floor muscles are shortened, overactive, or in spasm.
Your doctor may refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist.
It’s too painful, because they’re too tight.
Youre not working out the right way.
Pain during sex can also come from using your core incorrectly during workouts.
If one muscle’s too tight and one’s too long, they’re both working at nonoptimal levels.
It could be that they’re overworking and getting irritated by a specific exercise or workout.
If theres a musculoskeletal problem, a physical therapist can help you figure it out and fix it.
Youre tensing your muscles and dont know it.
According to Stein, most people dont even notice theyre doing this.
You should be able to gently bulge or push out at the pelvic floor muscles.
You have another undiagnosed problem.
Know how you look and know your baseline of feeling fine.
If you feel something outside of that baseline, always get it checked out.
Never ignore pain, she says, or symptoms like consistentbleeding after sex.
More important, don’t let anyone tell you it’s just in your head.
The most important thing is self-advocacy, Dr. Coady says.
This article was originally published in 2019.
