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Anal sex tips arent just about the right positioning or lubrication.
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And is anal sex safe?
These questions are becoming more common.
According to research from the Kinsey Institute, more young women than ever45%are exploringanal play.
So to answer your first-time anal sex questions, we called in the experts.
The advice, below, is all essentially variations of that trio.
Note: Most of these tips are described from the perspective of someone with a vulva.
Relax your mind…and body.
The last thing you want to be before attempting anal penetration (or anal stimulation) is tense.
saysTristan Taormino, author ofThe Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.
Toprepare for anal sex, you could also focus on specifically relaxing the muscles of your anal sphincter.
To see what that feels like, tighten your butt muscles and then release.
Explore on your own.
The easiest way to begin would be with your finger, she says.
First, warm yourself up with clitoral stimulation.
That will make it more enjoyable.
If you enjoyed that experience, she suggests moving up to a butt plug.
I would recommend doing those things before you attempt anal sex with a partner, Weiss says.
Figuring out how to do anal sex with your partner starts with communication.
Talk about it first.
Trust me, this is one area in which you donotwant any surprises.
If something feels uncomfortable or painful, let them know.
To cleanse yourself (literally) of such mental roadblocks, take a nice, steamy shower first.
Engage in plenty of foreplay.
One of the best ways to ease into anal play is to ensure youre extremely aroused beforehand.
The number one mistake people make is rushing, says Taormino.
Start withforeplay, vaginal sex, oral sex, or whatever turns you on.
(Being one or two orgasms deep before you try any anal penetration helps.)
A lot of it.
The key to reallyenjoying anal sex?
Lube, lube, and more lube.
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant.
The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be, explains Needle.
(It also helps preventbleeding after sex.)
And dont be afraid to reapply frequently.
More lube equals better anal sex, always.
Use lots of lube and keep reapplying if it dries out, Weiss says.
And ensure to stop if anything becomes uncomfortableif anything tears, that could increase your chance of STIs.
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8.
Assume the right position.
For first-time anal sex, the receiver (a.k.a.
whichever partner is being penetrated) should be the one to control the depth and speed of penetration.
For first-timer-friendlysex positions, Barnard has some other suggestions.
This allows the pelvic floor to be very relaxed and open.
No matter how much lube you use, your backdoor is not a water slide.
First-time anal sex should be approached like getting into a really hot bath tub.
The key here is to be gentle and communicate.
If at any point things get too uncomfortable, speak up.
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11.
In those first few moments of penetration, the pressure tends to cause people to hold their breath.
This results in the immediate tightening of those muscles, which will only lead to pain.
Take deep, even breaths and focus on relaxing your entire body and release all tension.
It may feel like you have to go to the bathroom at first, but just go with it.
Speak up about pain.
First-time anal play will be full of new sensations, some weird, some amazing.
What you shouldnt feel is pain.
If at any point during the action penetration becomes painful, let your partner know immediately.
Using props can also be a way to help with discomfort.
Matatas recommends pillow props or sex wedge cushions, especially for anal missionary positions.
Condoms are the only way to prevent sexually transmitted infections.
Just dont go from anal to vaginal penetration with the same condom, as that can spread infections.
Ditch the condom and put on a new one before penetrating the vagina.
Dont forget clitoral stimulation.
However, if this is your first anal experience, consider focusing only on the clitoris.
Vaginal stimulation can actually increase pelvic floor tightness and make anal penetration much less comfortable, Barnard says.
The receiver can do it themselves, using a vibrator or manual stimulation.
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16.
If you feel pain at any point, have your partner ease up, stop, or switch positions.
Penetration doesnt even need to define your anal sex experience.
There are different ways to find mutual pleasure that dont involve it.
Anal play can be both external and internal, Matatas says.
There are so many nerve endings on the butthole.
Why not tease them?
Try putting vibrators against the perineum or butthole, rimming, or an anal massage.
Your first time trying anal sex might get a little messy, so youll want to prepare accordingly.
Also, keep lube nearby.
You will need to reapply during penetration.
So many folks associate anal sex with something dirty or impure, Balestrieri says.
They may assume it means something about them, or their partner, if they like it.
Its as simple as that.
What about anal play makes you feel curious or excited?
What is arousing or interesting?
Anal porn is a great way to open your mind to the possibilities.
Use erotic audio, photos, or video to get or stay excited and look for anal sex tips.
This can also be an avenue to explore anykinks and fetishesthat might be of interest to you.
Dont stress over it.
For some people, anal sex is a no-go, and for others its a possibility.
Check in with yourself.
Know that you dont need to have anal sex just to c’mon a partner, Weiss says.
But you should be doing it for your own pleasure, not just your partners.
If youre not getting any pleasure out of it, then dont do it.
