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Like sex itself, sexual fantasies are as old as time.
Design by Channing Smith
Ones gender or sexuality doesnt matterpeople have them and use them to reachorgasm during sex.
And yet our culture has long been confused about sexual desire.
Naturally, this was wrong.
That she was just staring out at the landscape of Egypt completely thoughtless?
Like we said, the sexual fantasy is as old as time.
But whos fantasizing about what and with whom is another story.
So what is a sexual fantasy?
A sexual fantasy is any mental image, thought, or story that turns you on.
You may be dying to act it out or just like to think about it.
Your fantasy life is your fantasy life, until and unless you choose to make it into more.
(It can alsomake sex last longer!)
How can you bring up your fantasies with your partner?
A way to get around this is to create a safe space and get creative.
It was really hot.
What do you think?
We have a whole guide tosex games for couples.
How can you explore sexual fantasies in a safe way?
Its important not to just dive in blindly.
This is a nonnegotiable.
You also want to decide on a safeword.
No matter what is happening, once the safeword is said, everything stops immediately.
Start slowly, as you gain experience and comfort, says Miller.
If youre engaging in BDSM, begin with lighter activities.
A great entry point is blindfolding, shibari, and sensation play.
The goal is to gently tease and focus on sensation to heighten eroticism.
If you and your partner dont share the same fantasy, what should you do?
In some cases, fantasies dont align.
We are entitled to fantasies; we just do not have to always share them with our partners.
As Viegas points out, compromise depends on the relationship.
Are there aspects of your fantasy that both of you feel comfortable exploring together?
Focus on the parts that intrigue your partner and build from there.
What are the benefits to talking about sexual fantasies?
What are the most common sexual fantasies?
In 2014, the results of the Wilson Sex Fantasy Questionnaire was published inThe Journal of Sexual Medicine.
So get ready to take lots of notes!
They might go better in fantasy than in reality, however.
Open communication with a trusted partner is key, as is establishing a safe word.
Sensory deprivation:Blindfolds are one easy way to explore this avenue.
97% of both women and men like to fantasize about different locations and/or people.
Sometimes fantasy is hotter than reality.
But if you do, maybe some form of ethical non-monogamy is an avenue you should explore.
For a more extreme version, check out ethical sex clubs in your area.
(FetLife.comcan be a good place to start.)
Sex with a celebrity:Some 52% of women reported having had this fantasy.
There is no shame in whipping out your go-to fantasy next time you’re masturbating.
by someone unexpected, says Burdett.
it’s possible for you to safely explore this fantasy at ethical, consenting sex parties.
And when youre done, you’re able to throw your clothes back on and peace out.
Role play:Everyone wants to know what it feels like to be someone else, says Burdett.
Desiring to shift into playful roles in the bedroom does not mean you are unsatisfied with your life.
Does a nurse-and-patient fantasy get your gears turning?
How about boss and secretary?
The possibilities are almost endless.
Cosplay:Similar to role play is cosplay, which involves dressing up in a specific costume.
You might feel foxier in a borrowed persona.
72% of women and 87% of men want to indulge in what’s considered culturally forbidden.
Oral sex:Both giving and receivingoral sexcame up as a top fantasy in one study.
Meanwhile, receiving oral might make you feel like a pampered queen in her throne or thoroughly ravaged.
However you frame it, its clear that tons of people find oral sex hot as hell.
Its dirty, something only bad girls do, etc.
If you’re new to trying anal, relaxation, communication, and plenty ofanal lubeare key.
Professors are typically people we respectsmart, distinguished, and accomplished.
And dont even get me started on those tweed blazers with the elbow patches.
In your sex fantasy, you are.
But it’s easy to see why one would.
It should go without saying that this fantasy should be explored only between consenting adults.
Exhibitionism:Showing off can be incredibly sexy.
Its hot to feel hot.
Just ensure that if your foray into exhibitionism involves going digital, youpractice safe sexting.
Voyeurism:Watching other people get it on can be a massive turn-on as well.
There are many possibilities for (consensual) spectating.
99% of both women and men fantasize about being romanced and cuddled during sex.
Fantasizing about an ex doesn’t mean you want to get back together.
Often, this kind of fantasy is about nostalgia for something familiaror simply some good memories of hot hookups.
Sensual massage:Happy ending massages are a popular search term on porn sites, especially for women.
To explore this fantasy, break out themassage candleand ask your partner for a rub down.
Cuckolding:Whats interesting about cuckolding is that its not just about nonmonogamy but emasculation too.
Pegging plays with power dynamics and allows both partners to explore a different side of their sexuality.
If you’re looking to explore, just see to it you’re honest and upfront about your intentions.
She divides her time between NYC and Barcelona.
