Theres a whisper of a conversation happeningin barbershops, podcast studios, and group chats.
The places where men trade unserious memes and riffs that sometimes, occasionally, stumble into real talk.
And lately, it goes like this: What ifrelationshipsworked like the NBA?
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A four-year marriage contract, with performance clauses and the option to renew.
A clean break if its not working out.
No courtroom tug-of-war over who gets the dog or the air fryer.
You still love each other?
Re-sign when the term is up.
If not, part ways with no drama, no debt, and no drawn-out unraveling.
At first, it sounds emotionally evolved.
A kind of romantic realism for people whove seen what a forever promise can quietly rot into.
Think of it like LeBron James returning to Cleveland in 2014.
He gave Miami four strong years, reassessed the situation, realized hed outgrown the arrangement, and left.
Miami fans were bitter, sure, but everyone moved on.
The metaphor lands because it makes all those emotions feel manageable, even inspiring.
You didnt failyou fulfilled your contract.
I think we should do marriage like NBA contracts.
And because you know your terms coming up, you actually put in the work.
So to promise someone forever?
When life can completely change you, or them?
That just doesnt feel honest.
While hes not entirely wrong, the stat he usesthat 50% of marriages end in divorceis misleading.
It accounts for every marriage, including second, third, and fourth attempts.
Accordingto the U.S. Census Bureau, only about 30% to 35% of first marriages end in divorce.
Of the slow, unsexy work of loving someone even in the worst times.
We dont always do the work it takes to sustain the real thing.
The moment commitment gets reflective, inconvenient, or emotionally complex, people start scanning for the opt-out clause.
And while the NBA metaphor is clever, it glosses over how gender plays out in these fantasies.
Bizuneh puts it another way: Of course divorce rates are up.
Women dont have to stay in something terrible just to eat anymore.
Marriage, as it was originally designed, wasnt built for longevity, it was built for survival.
And the freedom that divorce can bring is recent.
No-fault divorce wasnt legal in all 50 states until 2010.
Before that, leaving a marriage required proof of abuse, infidelity, or abandonment.
So when people point fingers at divorce culture, theyre not seeing the bigger picture.
Its not that women are leaving more, its that were finallyallowedto.
Weve been treating connection like content: swipe, spark, stall, ghost.
We soft-launch love like its still in beta and back out the moment things get hard.
Accountability, discomfort, long distance, anything inconvenient, and were out.
We dont practice staying, so were not equipped to.
Slapping a contract on top of that isnt progress; its avoidant attachment dressed up in good branding.
Most of life is just ordinary,Michelle Obamarecently said on herIMOpodcast.
You gotta learn how to be happyalone.
You gotta be happy and a little bored.
You gotta be happy when things are hard.
That quote is the best response to the idea of the four-year marriage contract that Ive heard.
Marriage isnt supposed to be exciting all the time.
Its not a highlight reel.
Call it a contract if that makes you feel in control, but dont confuse that with real commitment.
Staying when its deeply human and messy and inconvenient is the real work.
Thats the forever part.
And no clause can do that for you.
To his credit, Bizuneh isnt pulling this idea out of thin air.
He admits to being avoidant to commitment not out of arrogance, but out of logic.
Ive seen how bad it gets, he says.
Why would I willingly sign up for that?
Its a fair question, and a deeply human one.
Youre managing a project.
The solution isnt planning for love to fade, because it will.
Its learning how to sustain it.
Tallentire tells me that most of the divorces she sees arent about cheatingits people growing apart.
Its couples losing themselves in parenthood, she says.
In fact, turning marriage into a job review could make things worse.
To not have to audition for continued presence in someones life.
Also, from a legal standpoint, a four-year contract just doesnt hold up.
All it is, Tallentire tells me, is a prenup with a countdown clock.
Technically, these types of contracts already exist.
They come back to court, give a shot to renegotiate, give a shot to sweeten the deal.
And that process is just as expensive, draining, and emotionally brutal as divorce.
Even with a prenup, you cant paperwork your way out of heartbreak.
