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Cant you wait till Im dead?
Unlike me my mother, is not a public-facing person.
Shes outgoing and social but she prefers to keep personal stuff private, even with friends.
Once Im dead, it’s possible for you to say whatever you want, she said.
You know, Mom, Im entitled to tell my story, I countered.
Of course, she said.
The problem is itsmystory too.
No ones story exists in a vacuum.
As a child, I didnt know that my mom grew up in a house full of them.
I only knew I still felt them lurking.
I dont want to leave my friends, I wailed, begging her to reconsider.
Like many teenagers, my friends were my world.
One month later, we moved again, to a different city.
Ten months later, my mom was ready to move again, to yet another city.
By then, Id had enough.
I decided to go in my own direction.
We parted ways when I was 16.
I never told my mother some of the most frightening and painful moments of my teenage years.
Turns out, I learned how to keep secrets too.
I chose a different tack.
I decided to read my stories out loud to my mother and ask for her help.
My mom has an excellent memory.
She knows the birthdays of every distant relative and details of our ancestors lives.
In journalism parlance, shes what we call an extremely solid source.
But shes a highly conflicted one.
But she stuck around through my writing process, even when our memories were at odds.
She wasnt throwing it at me, but I was standing near the wall that it thwacked against.
I was horribly startled.
No, my mom said.
I threw the eggplant down the stairs at Dad.
No, Mom, that happened in the kitchen.
You were at the stove.
I remember it well.
I threw it at Dad, down the stairs.
That makes no sense, Mom.
Why would you have an eggplant upstairs?
We agreed to disagree.
These conversations with my mother became more than fact-finding missions.
They became bonding sessions.
Stoic silence, Ive learned, only gets us so far.
As my journalism career has taught me, denial and half-truths divide us.
True stories create connection.
Today my mom and I are enjoying a wonderful new chapter.
Though our discussions were difficult, theyve led to a more authentic, happier place.
Alisyn Camerota is a CNN anchor and two-time Emmy Award winner.
