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The omnipresent ick is the only natural law of theWhite Lotusuniverse.
Stefano Delia/HBO
Season one spoke to the ways that our sex lives can cycle through periods of feast and famine.
Season two is what happens when a social satire decides to buy askimpy black bikiniand become a sexual thriller.
And season three…well…we dont even know whats happening there.
Stefano Delia/HBO
But theres some degree of truth to his paranoid fantasies.
And frankly, can you blame Ethan for feeling threatened?
With a combination of lust and hatred in their eyes, every glance between Harper and Cameron feels meaningful.
Stefano Delia/HBO
In several moments, Cameron definitely seems to be seducing Harper.
Cameron undresses in front of Harper in the first episode.
Later, he plays a light prank on her and openly admits his desire to be liked by her.
Stefano Delia/HBO
At every turn, he goes out of his way to meet her cool, judgmental gaze with flirtation.
And Harper gradually warms up to Cameron in return.
Their underlying motivations become less opaque in the season finale.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
The situation is messy, to be sure.
But in one way or another, everyone gets their needs met by the end of the season.
Its the end of the day, and the couple are getting ready for bed.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
On a drunken day trip, he ropes her into dining and dashing after snacking on arancini.
Jack is a sexy, mysterious distraction.
Who among us hasnt taken sabbatical from dating nice guys in favor of someone a little more thrilling?
Mario Perez/HBO
The next morning she wakes up next him and his perfect pair of butt cheeks.
Harper insists the kiss went no further, but the revelation nonetheless sends Ethan spiraling.
Daphne and Ethan seemingly decide to even the score by hooking up.
Mario Perez/HBO
Having mistook Isabellas kindness for mutual longing, Valentina resigns herself to loneliness.
The experience empowers Valentina to accept her sexuality.
And thats no small thing for a queer Italian woman.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
In Italy, to be gay is still a big issue, Impacciatore remarked toVarietyafter the pivotal episode aired.
They dont have rights in Italy.
They cannot get married, they cannot have kids.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
And sometimes they get attacked in the streets just because they love someone of their own sex.
Nicole no longer seems interested, and Mark, a former philanderer, feels emasculated.
With Kai, Paula can vent about feeling like a token instead of Olivias so-called friend.
Capitalism strikes again and again!
Episode six ends with a long shot of a stark-naked Niccolo on his knees.
Feelings quickly enter the fray for Albie, at least.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
And his earnest but perhaps misguided desire to protect Lucia could be his undoing.
Shes not lingering at the White Lotus bar to find romance.
For her, sex work is a means to an end.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
And the winner is…Jaclyn.
Because of course she is.
The scene itself is actually pretty tame, byWhite Lotusstandards.
Mario Perez/HBO
Are the characters behaving despicably?
Am I mad about this scene?
Listen, Im obsessed with you.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
I want to get you naked.
What do I gotta do?
he bluntly asks in true predator fashion.
@FabioLovino
We get a glimpse of Armond, naked, performing analingus on Dillon in his office.
But the rest of their partying is left to the imagination.
But Greg wont let Tanya sabotage their budding romance so easily.
Mario Perez/HBO
I still wanna fuck you, he says reassuringly.
Season two, episode one: Tanya and Greg
Tanya does her best to like husband Greg.
But it gradually becomes clear throughout the season that their marriage is in shambles.
Mario Perez/HBO
She shrieks, pushes Greg away, and sits up.
I mustve been disassociating, she says.
Greg, being the awful husband he is, whines that he didnt finish.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
But Tanya insists on taking a breather.
Greg gets up and walks into the living room, where he berates her for eating five macarons.
And mind you, Tanya is funding the entire vacation.
Fabio Lovino/HBO
She charms the hotel piano player Giuseppe (Federico Scribani) right out of his job.
She throws a drink in his face when he offers her money for sex in episode one.
What follows must be one of the most wretched and hilarious sex scenesever committed to celluloid.
They hastily find a place to do the deed and settle for a nearby chapel.
When Giuseppe cant perform, Miadetermined to screw this man once and never againtakes matters into her own hands.
Fetching what she thinks is Viagra from Lucia, Mia returns and orders Giuseppe to take it.
When the pills in question turn out to be molly, the encounter goes from cringe to hysterical.
And the centrality of the church to Italian culture makes the scene even moreOMG.
Outwardly, sex pig Shane seems like a catch, given his good looks and his generational wealth.
But at what cost?
Season two, episode five: Jack and Quentin
Fifty out of 10did not enjoy.
The most cursed sex scene of all.
Sadly, we may never know.
Season three, episode six: Saxon, Lochlan, and Chloe
Scratch that.
The White Lotusseasons one and two are available to stream on HBO Max.
