Francia Raisa is not a diva.
There were the negative times: The adults who called her a brat when she was a kid.
The manager and stylist who thought she was too demanding.
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The people who told her she was asking for attention just because of the way she walked.
The social media trolls who accuse her ofdoing a selfless act for a friend for the fame.
I know what I want, and I go for it, says Raisa.
It took Raisa many yearsand therapyto embrace this latter view.
She owns two homes.
She looks, as she describes, better than ever.
And she no longer feels that she has to change herself just to appease other people.
The way you perceive that term is a choice, just like everything else in life, she says.
Whether I want it or not, that word is going to be used around me.
So I can choose to see it negatively, or I can choose to see it positively.
I recommend choosing to see everything from a positive perspective.
Francia Raisa:Ive gotten the worddivamy whole life.
I still do sometimes.
God, it made me feel so shitty before.
I dont think the termdivais always negative.
Like Beyonce says, A diva is a female version of a hustler.
I heard that song recently and was like, Yeah, no, Im just a hustler.
I know what I want, and I go for it and I work really, really hard.
What do we do?
Im like, I really dont go out!
I have no idea where we would go.
I stay home a lot.
Im at a place in my life where Im really trying to level up.
Ive gottendivamy whole life, and it made me shut down and hide myself a bit.
Now Im starting to own it.
Im turning 35 this year, and Im in the best shape of my life.
I look better than ever.
In a negative light, a diva is perceived as someone whos spoiled or selfish.
When it comes to a man, the worddivaisnt negative at all.
Its like, Well, he works hard for what he does.
So do us women.
Youre right about setting boundaries.
Do you remember the first time you were called a diva?
I dont remember the first time.
I remember the last time.
It was a former manager of mine.
Thinking back, I own my part in it.
It was relayed to me, and there was just a lot of miscommunication that was happening.
My manager told me, Well, you have to admit youre a diva.
And I said, Why are you saying that so negatively?
Hes no longer my manager.
It wasnt because of that, but I dont want to be with someone who views me that way.
Would you say now if someone called you a diva?
I guess it would depend on the context of the conversation.
Ive had conversations where people are referring to that word as a positive thing and call me that.
And Im like, Yeah, Ill receive that.
Id say, Well, what classifies me as a diva?
What do you mean by that?
And then just see where theyre coming from, share my perspective, and keep it moving.
Whether I change their mind or or not, it doesnt matter.
Im trying to do my best to not react anymore.
You talked about not wanting to sexualize yourself.
It sounds like you might be more comfortable embracing more of that now?
That was the look that I embraced when I first started out.
I was very much about tight dresses and heels and showing off my curves.
A lot of girls didnt like me, and I was trying so hard to fit in.
My whole life, Ive just been trying to fit in.
Im a first-generation Latin American.
I grew up in a very Hispanic home.
So Ive always tried to fit in.
They were like, You dont know!?
Thats the worst thing to meif I dont know something and someones reaction is, You dont know this?
I instantly get triggered.
I started doing little things that my therapist suggested, like matching my bra and underwear.
Even if no one is going to see it, I know, so Im walking different.
Just little things to look more presentable, because I used to really be grungy.
Because if I did, I was called a show-off or someone thats asking for the attention.
Now, fuck it, who cares?
Would you say the diva label started as you became a public figure?
Or is that something you got even before?
I got it before.
My dad was famous in the Latin market growing up.
My dad did, in the negative sense, raise us to be brats.
I was a brat, so of course I got that diva label.
I have a quick mouth.
Diva, way before spotlight.
I dont go around where paparazzis are.
Im good at dodging all of that.
But Ive gotten the pregnant stuff.
There are pictures Ive taken where theyre like, Oh my God, is she pregnant?
No, Im just bloated.
Im getting my period.
Im so glad Im off of it.
I miss a lot of news, but Im a lot happier.
I cant handle it.
My friends who deal with it all the time are constantly telling me, Dude, it doesnt matter.
At least theyre talking about you.
Im like, Yeah, but I cant handle it.
Aside from getting rid of Twitter, how else do you deal with criticism?
Do you have any habits or routines that help you reset during difficult moments?
Thats something my friends have always told me to do.
That lasted one day.
But this January I thought, I really have to.
My life was good, so I didnt understand why it was happening.
It was even worse than when I was actually in a bad place.
Anxiety comes during the good moments.
Things are peaceful and calm, so you dont trust it.
You dont trust it.
I started meditating in January, and I did it publicly.
Its actually been very helpful.
And then I kick my ass in hot yoga or go to bar classes.
Letting all that go definitely helps a lot.
I tend to spoil myself too.
I get a massage once a week.
Do you have a song you play if you want to snap out of a bad mood?
Right now its Flowers by Miley Cyrus.
I live a pretty good life, but I just have to remind myself that.
I can do it by my damn self.
Look at everything Ive done by myself.
I dont need a partner.
I want one, but I dont want to have it forcefully.
Dating right now is so hard.
Either theyre recently out of a relationship, a serious one, or recently out of a marriage.
Thats hard, especially when you dont have that.
Or they have Peter Pan syndrome.
So you have to be on board with who that person is, good and bad.
Thats really, really hard.
And then they expect you to change certain things about yourself.
Youre like, Sir, no.
The last person…he told me he doesnt like girls that wear Jordans.
And thats all I wear.
Five years ago, I wouldve thought, Okay, Im never going to wear Jordans around him.
Now, well, this is who I am.
Get used to it.
Also, at our age, its really hard to go slow.
Thats the huge issue.
I dont know how.
Its hard to go slow because youre like, I know what I want.
But building a foundation is hard.
And then if I do get married, thats probably not going to be for another year.
And then a child?
I want to enjoy my relationship first, but Ill be 40.
Whats the last great book you read?
Ive been reading a lot of memoirs and biographies.
I just finished Matthew Perrys.
Before him I read Josh Pecks, and before that I read Jennette McCurdys.
Do you think youd write your own memoir someday?
It inspired me to, yeah.
Im actually working on it now.
I have quite the story that nobody knows about, and its time for me to start talking.
Im ready to help people out.
Its important for people to understand what women really go through when we go through emotional abuse.
Im just now working on the proposal.
Its going to be very vulnerable for me.
What do you wear when you want to feel confident?
I just stare at myself and tell myself, I look good.
Is there a role you really wanted but didnt get?
Thereve been a couple roles that Ididget and wasnt allowed to do because of scheduling conflicts.
I wont bring them up because Im trying to let them go.
The last one, when it didnt happen, I was so upset because it was during my hiatus.
I thought, This is bullshit; theres no reason why I cant do this.
Its a huge show, and it could have definitely changed my trajectory a little bit.
And thats exactly what happened.
Whats the best advice youve gotten from a woman in your life?
Ive gotten a lot of advice from wonderful women.
Ill go with the career advice that came from Rita Moreno.
She wont even remember this.
I want to say I was 20 years old.
I was onSecret Life of the American Teenagerat the time, and Monique had a talk show.
It was me, Rita Moreno, and Doug E. Fresh.
I remember Rita and Monique both looked at me after the interview and said, Never stop studying.
Always go to class.
You cant ever stop studying.
Its a muscle that you have to use like working out.
Its the same with anything that you do with work or your life or a hobby.
Monique was like, Youve got it, girl.
I took their advice, and I still work with my acting coach to this day.
Id be like, Im a working actress.
What are you are you talking about?
But I still take their advice to heart.
As far as life advice, everyone keeps telling me it gets better as you get older.
I didnt understand how, but now I do.
You just dont take things as seriously.
Not everything is as serious as you feel like it might be.
I used to hate when people would say, Well, thats your choice.
Now Im telling people that, and I hate myself.
Last question: Do you have a go-to thank-you gift?
I send it for thank-yous and birthdays.
The last time I did it was for my friend.
Shes on a show calledFire Countryon CBS, and its her first series.
So I sent her an Edible Arrangement the day of her premiere.
Before we go, any last things you want to say on being called a diva?
The way you perceive that term is a choice, just like everything else in life.
Whether I want it or not, that word is going to be used around me.
So I can choose to see it negatively, or I can choose to see it positively.
I recommend choosing to see everything from a positive perspective, even if it can be offensive.
If you laugh at it, you’re able to find the humor in it.
Anna Moeslein is the deputy editor atGlamour.This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
