America first metformer ICU nurseGabby Windey when she was a contestantand fan-favoriteon Clayton Echards season ofThe Bachelorin January 2022.
Windey got engaged to Erich Schwer in the finale, but the twowent their separate waysshortly thereafter.
Its pretty taboo to out people these days, but there was a fear of that.
And I want to be able to talk about my life openly.
Thats how people know me.
But I dont think I realized how good it was going to feel to be this open.
Andie Jane
Something inside of me could relate, and I thought, Maybe I need to explore this.
Im 32, and Ive been through a lot, just like everybody.
And there were probably other things that I just suppressed or told myself was nothing.
But it became louder and louder.
It was almost like I was afraid for it to happen for some reason.
Women are the best.
We have better bodies, better minds.
Everyone I talked to was like, Gabby, this is just a phase.
Youre as straight as they come.
But I was just like, But whatif?
And luckily I have that natural curiosity and the strength to listen to myself.
Because thats exactly what happened.
I was not around any gay people, especially not gay women.
And Im sorry, women are the best.
I mean, what am I even going to say about it?
Men are lucky to have women be attracted to them.
We have better bodies, better minds.
Everythings sexier about us.
So its like, why wouldnt you want two [women] in a relationship?
It just makes sense to me.
But then a few weeks later, I was at a bar where a friends girlfriend recognized Robby.
Our mutual friend brought her over, and she introduced herself to us.
Shes hilarious and has such a presence.
She knows how to work people.
She was like, So what’s going on here?
She asked how old I was and I said 32.
But shes not wrong.
Its like, if youre going to do this in your 30s, its probably going to stick.
Then she said, Do you come from money?
You have no control over it.
But shes 36, she knows what the fuck she wants.
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When she asked that, I said, I dont think so.
Im middle class, maybe.
But I was also thinking, Whois this girl?
What is she doing?
She gets to the point.
Anyway, she said, Well, Im not going to lie, Gabby.
I want your number.
She texted me right away and we planned a date for a week later.
I later found out shed watched some ofmy season ofThe Bachelorettewith her friends when it was airing.
Apparently lesbians loveThe Bachelorette.
She picked me up and took me to a trendy restaurant in Hollywood.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
Still, this was uncharted territory.
And Robby is the most giving and egoless person Ive ever really met in dating.
She knew she was more experienced so I guess she was pursuing me more.
I dont think I would ever date a man again.
I feel so emotionally connected to my girlfriend and thats whats most important for me.
Theres lots of stigma around baby gays.
I didnt want somebody to be cautious or tread water.
I had been doing that for so long.
I just wanted someone to trust me and be a hundred percent in.
I remember thinking, Oh, my God, my hand is so much bigger than hers.
Physically seeing myself against someone whos smaller…I think women are so afraid of feeling big.
Were supposed to be small and dainty.
So that was my first time having something be so fundamentally different.
But now, four months in, being with her just feels like home.
I love our height difference.
And I still love when I wear heels.
It feels so good.
I think sex becomes uncomfortable when you feel like there are unspoken expectations.
Theres none of that here.
We talk about everything.
As different as we are, were definitely cut from the same cloth.
Were both really open with our communication and know what we want.
Were not going to let anything get in the way, and we trust each other implicitly.
With her, I can just be myself.
Its serendipitous and kismet and kind of spiritual, but also very stable.
We were both meant for a big jot down of love, and now its finally here.
If there was ever discussion about being gay, it was shameful.
It really came up in therapy and I was like, Is it because of my trauma?
Do I just have mommy issues?
But I had to go through all of that to get to where I am now.
Still, it was scary to tell my family.
I told them in such a nonchalant way.
I was like, Im seeing a girl.
They didnt really know what to do with it but said, We just want you to be happy.
I think parents think its just a phase, especially the older generation.
But its not a phase.
I just have to give them room.
I am still figuring out what this means too.
My grandfather doesnt really care who Im dating.
It just hasnt come up, and thats okay.
Hes 85 and up to his own things these days.
Let him be; hes living his best life.
I think its relatability and its an identifier.
It gives you a little more perspective and context.
And I can appreciate that.
I guess bisexual would be the most honest label for me, but I dont know.
I just know after dating women, I dont think I would ever date a man again.
I feel so emotionally connected to my girlfriend and thats whats most important for me.
So I dont know if I dont believe in labels.
I just am what I am.
This is the best relationship Ive ever been in.
