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Everyone knows thatdating is hard, and finding the One feels daunting.
Channing Smith
So imagine my horror when Itested positive for HSV-1and had to try datingwith herpes.
If you find yourself in a similar boat, know that Im writing from the other side.
Thats not to say it didnt take me a while to get here.
No, I had a full-on mental breakdown.
My postdiagnosis helplessness and despair weren’t uncommon.
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But those fears are just that: fears, not reality.
And this fear and shame around herpes makes it seem much worse than it is.
I thought I was never going to have sex again when I first got it.
We’re taught from a young age that it’s the worst thing possible.
It’s true: The post-herpes life I dreaded looks nothing like what it was and is.
I met someone, fell in love, and simply had to tell him I had herpes.
Ten years later, he’s my husband.
Wecelebrate six years marriedin July, and no, he has not gotten herpes from me.
Post-herpeshappily-ever-aftersare possible, and not just possible butcommon.
Some have more than one partner at any given time.
Some have been engaged and married more than once.
The only reason we dont know more of these stories is because nobody talks about them.
This is one reason they are so commonly transmitted.
In reality, herpes is very common.
Dating with herpes might be hard, but that’s only becausedating is hardperiod, not because of HSV.
You’ve got this; I promise!
How common is herpes?
So chances are a few people you know are living with herpes.
However, up to 90% of patients with genital HSV do not know they are infected.
Is herpes curable?
How do you treat it?
Patches, L-lysine supplements to prevent HSV viral replication, and more.
Whats the difference between oral herpes (HSV-1) and genital herpes (HSV-2)?
HSV-1 and HSV-2 are different members of the same family of viruses, Dr. Stahl explains.
HSV-1 mostly causes oral herpes (cold sores), whereas HSV-2 mostly causes genital herpes.
How is herpes transmitted?
Those asymptomatic periods in between outbreaks are also known as shedding, adds Sleeth.
Herpes can spread invisibly through a sneaky process called viral shedding, she says.
From there, it once again has the potential to infect others through kissing and sexual contact.
Hence the importance of going out of your way to test for herpes!
Still, theres really no way to determine whether youre shedding at any given time, she says.
Now, if you’re thinking, Oh no, my sex life really is over!
You wouldnt judge someone for accidentally getting a cold, right?
it’s possible for you to also pass herpes to someone else this way.
So kindly, keep washing your hands.
How can I decrease the risk of transmitting herpes to my partner?
Sex with anyone, regardless of who it is, is always going to be a risk.
While no one strategy is perfect, adhering to multiple risk reduction strategies can meaningfully reduce transmission risk.
Avoid sex during outbreaks.
Always use condoms or dental dams during oral, anal, or vaginal sex, says Sleeth.
However, Dr. Stahl notes, the use of condoms reduces transmission risk by only about 30%.
This can be taken daily or as needed during outbreaks.
Make healthy lifestyle choices.
Taking care of yourself overall can also help prevent outbreaks.
No one knows for sure what triggers genital herpes outbreaks.
Other infections, surgery, sex, your period, skin irritations, and stress may cause outbreaks.
Sunburns, injuries to your lips, or other infections can cause oral herpes flare-ups.
make a run at avoid getting sunburned if you have oral herpes.
But it’s still the right thing to do before you’re sexually active.
Tell them before you have sex.
Come prepared and ready to educate.
Understand that they might need time to process.
Unfortunately, some people might not take it well, Molina-Schneider concludes.
Most people know that herpes is super common and not a big deal.
I understand if you have questions or concerns, and I’m here to talk about it.
Ultimately, I care about your well-being and want to ensure we make informed decisions together.
I have genital herpes.
I know this may be hard for you to hear.
What questions can I answer for you?
Once I know sex is on the table, I’ll be like, When were you last tested?
Do you know what that is?
Because a lot of times they don’t know what it is.
Then, depending on how much her partner knows, Wise shares additional information about HSV.
