Like, thebesthand job.
Andrea Heap
Curious about role playing or electrostimulation?
Obviously, it happens.
But alsoand I think is the most important thingIm teaching someone how to touch my own body.
Read on for our full conversation on how to give a mind-blowing hand job.
Glamour: Tell us a little bit of your backstory.
Andrea Heap
How and when did these classes start?
Andrea Heap:I am a regular nine-to-fiver at a tech company during the week.
I teach hand-job workshops on the weekend.
The classes came to be a long time ago.
Ive been doing it for about, I would say, 10 to 12 years.
It started by me very casually dating a man whosekinkwas hand jobs.
It slowly became my own kink.
Its something thats really shaped how I touch people.
Then it was me sharing a tip or two at a brunch with girlfriends.
Then people wanted to know more and more.
Then, I was like, Ill just show you on a sex toy.
That is the origin story.
How long were you in that field, and what did you specialize in?
I was a massage therapist full-time for nine years.
That was my one and only job from the age of 20 to 29.
I transitioned into tech after that, but I had worked in five-star spas.
I had my own practice.
I also worked in wellness centers and chiropractic clinics.
I like to do a medium-to-firm Swedish.
Thats my sweet spot.
From this job, obviously, I know how to touch people.
I did no sexual touching when I was a massage therapist, but I have trained hands.
When did you begin using those techniques?
Naturally, I just use a lot more of my hand, up to my elbow, as tools.
But how I give hand jobs now is very different than it was when I first started.
Its been a very playful journey.
Im discovering all of the hundreds of things you’re free to do with your hands.
That has been a really fun exploration.
Then I can take it into practice with a partner or something.
Its this really playful and empowering thing that, I guess, is my kink now.
I want to get into materials and technique.
Can you share the top line?
First and foremost, you need anoil-based lubricant.I prefer coconut oil because it smells really good.
Its so cheap and easily accessible.
Yes, but Im also crazy about these Trader Joes packets.
Theyre great to travel with.
you’ve got the option to throw them in your purse.
I always have a coconut oil packet with me if Im going on a date or something.
That is my favorite thing.
You dont even need a lot of it.
One packet could be three sessions.
You just dont need a lot.
That would be number one, an oil-based lubricant.
Or whatever lubricant you have, but its a must.
Do not use lotion.
It loses its slip within 30 seconds and is absorbed into the skin.
You want something to stay on the skins surface, oil-based.
My tip for technique is using both hands.
Use as much of your skins surface that it’s possible for you to.
Spreading the oil can be a big production, and you want to spread it all over him.
That can be hand over hand.
Just so much of your skin touching their skin is a good thing to keep in mind.
Its not something you think of right away.
Then, realize how many tools you have on your own hand.
you’re able to put him between your fingers.
you’ve got the option to put him between your wrists and forearms.
There are so many different ways to touch with your knuckles or fingertips.
Then you’re free to adjust your grip.
Always check in with how hard you should be squeezing.
Even that, alone, is a really fun exploration of, How hard can you grip?
you could edge a little bit.
you’re able to go soft.
Change the strength of your grip.
Those are just some really easy things to keep in mind.
What is the best feedback youve gotten?
There is a married hetero couple, and the woman came to my class a couple of months ago.
Her husband is obsessed with hand jobs now.
He texts her all the time, Hey, HJ tonight?
She actually searched HJ in her phone and showed me how many times he had texted her.
It was 50 texts.
She said, Youve created a monster.
Its all he wants.
That was really good feedback.
Shes actively using these skills, and hes so obsessed with it.
That makes me so happy.
Its like, Okay, my work is done.
Theyre this super happy couple, and theyve added this tool to their sex life.
Theyre both thoroughly enjoying the process.
You used the wordempowering,which I think some people might not understand in this context.
Can you explain what you mean by that?
This relationship was not that at all for me.
It was extremely empowering, because I kept my clothes on.
I felt super safe.
But alsoand I think is the most important thingIm teaching someone how to touch my own body.
Obviously, it happens.
Does this feel good?
Does this pressure feel good?
This open dialogue is extremely powerful when youre in your sexual power.
Would you characterize this as asub/domrelationship, since youre in control?
With some partners, it is that.
It has shaped into that, and its very fun for me.
That is a very new thing Ive explored.
They think, That wouldn’t feel good for me.
Im like, Let me try it.
yo consent to letting me just try this thing.
I might say, Do you want me to stop?
Is this boring for you?
That feels really powerful and good.
Do you ever get the same reaction from your classes?
People who view hand jobs as boring, or like theyre something for high schoolers, not adults?
Its not looked at as this decadent pleasure.
Its barely first base or whatever.
It doesnt have this kinky connotation.
You make out with someone, and it might happen naturally.
But hand jobs arent typically this big event that I really, truly make them.
People are very surprised when they ask, How long do they last?
I like to extend the hand jobs, because thats how I want to be touched.
I dont want a timeline.
I dont want an outcome attached to someone giving me pleasure.
Describe what a typical class looks like.
So far my students find me through word of mouth.
I dont have a website.
I dont advertise this.
This is just friends of friends that are like, Hey, can I bring a bachelorette party?
Or my book club?
I have been doing the classes in my own home, but I will travel to other peoples houses.
In our class you used someones forearm.
Is the forearm just for when you dont have a prop?
In a regular workshop, Zoom or in person, I use a dildo.
Im a tactile learner, so I would want that too.
Thats hand-job workshop 2.0.
A class set of dildos?
Imagine taking a bag of dildos out of the trunk and going into a house.
Inside, theres usually 8 to 10 women that sit around me.
Theres usually wine flowing.
I do about a 45-minute to one-hour class.
That can take 20 more minutes of this class.
People are very curious, and theres such an appetite for this knowledge.
I think that people feel safe giving hand jobs.
Its a really easy thing to hone your skills and get good atsomething that feels really empowering.
Its an approachable, new thing that can be super kinky.
But its also PG, if you want it to be PG.
Thats what, I think, is really nice about adding this new tool to your repertoire.
It could be anything you want it to be.
There are times when I dont want to have sex.
Say youre on your cycle.
Say you dont feel good.
There are things where you just dont want to maybe engage in sex.
This is such a great way to do that.
Say you just had a baby.
This is such a great thing to feel connected to your partner.
Maybe he can touch you, too, without intercourse.
Teach him how to touch you.
That just feels damn good.
I always start my workshop with this.
I say, Im a feminist.
I understand that men have it better in every way, including in the bedroom.
I can tell you, no.
I never want someone to touch me like that.
like touch me like this.
Its this empowered situation, where you are giving pleasure and giving feedback.
hey, can you try this next time on me?
This pressure would feel so good on me.
There are times where I will not do this for men.
There are times that I dont feel respected enough, or I dont want to put in the effort.
This is a special thing that I dont give to everyone.
I keep this for myself.
This is for when I feel like doing it.
It takes this special mutual respect and safety.
The hope, too, is that it will be given back to me in some other way.
Maybe not that night, but maybe the next morning, its my turn.
Theres more room, I think, to connect on a mental, emotional space.
I have sex with men.
Watching hands is super visual for them too.
Its not the typical T & A that you think they all want.
Hands can be so beautiful and intimate.
Even holding hands could be sexy as hell.
There are so many forgotten things, or maybe things that get overlooked.
We speed through a lot of things.
When we just can take a step back and slow down, we realize that anything can be intimate.
This is all so insightful!
Is there anything else you would like to share?
I really enjoy and feel very empowered by it.
Not everyone is going to feel that way.
Take it or leave it, but this just happens to be something I like doing.
Its just been naturally shared.
