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Which, I suppose, might go some way toward explaining the single part of that sentence.
Natalia Kuzina
My mother would ask people in the supermarket how they lost their finger.
My father would ask drag queens if they had any kids.
My grandmother would ask if vegetarians ate ham.
I had no idea that there was such a thing as an inappropriate question.
Health, money, secrets, sex; I asked about them all.
These include some absolute floor-filling classics.
When are you going to have kids?
Can I play with the baby?
Turn it up, DJ, its the soundtrack to my womb.
But there were a few others that felt less familiar to me.
For instance: When are you going to give him a baby?
Or: Why do you look like that?
And yet, I do wonder if we should be too critical of people asking questions.
And a significant part of communication is asking questions.
A well-intentioned question like Hows the baby bump?
Im certain that being asked Are you hormonal?
And isnt How is your partner holding up?
sometimes a useful way to release the pressure valve of relationship stress?
There is certainly value in reframing some common and often insensitive questions.
How is your pregnancy going?
is less pointed than asking Is it twins?
What do you like to do?
is just as important as What does your child like to do?
Can I help you?
is way more useful than Why is the baby crying?
I love having friends and family who ask me the difficult things.
I love the tricky questions that solicit revelations I couldnt have gotten to on my own.
I like people taking an interest.
Of course, theres a reason that therapists keep most of their questions open.
It is true that some people are easier to open up to than others.
But really, I still want to know: Do you have a favorite parent?
This story was originally published inBritishVogue.
