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The dating world was very different then, especially if you lived in Los Angeles.
Photos courtesy of Tess Sanchez; Book cover: Simon & Schuster; Design byGlamour
Meeting people back then was easy.
But meeting someone at one of those Hollywood nightclubs and staying together for over 20 years?
Thats almost too perfect, even by Hollywood standards.
Tess Sanchez and Max Greenfield at the 2013 Golden Globe Awards
And yet, thats Sanchez and Greenfields story.
It feels so retro, Sanchez says, looking back.
People still had answering machines back then.
As the story goes, Sanchez was out with her friends; Greenfield was out with his.
They locked eyes across the room.
Weve been asked many times, How did you guys meet?
because hes an actor and Im a casting director.
People assume we met on the casting couch.
We started at the same place, and we built our life together at the same pace.
It was such a critical part of the story, she says.
And with our two kids now, weve always been very honest with them [about it].
They understand that Max doesnt drink alcohol and what that process was like.
Theyre very accepting of it.
Ive recently had an opportunity to give my daughter boyfriend advice.
I have so many opinions about love and breakups and marriage and first meetings.
Its like my favorite subject.
Its that passion that makes Sanchezs essays so engaging to read.
I headed out with my girlsthink Meagan Good, Jessica Biel, and Selena Gomez.
We were out for a quick bite, then to a bar called Nacional.
I was jolted down to my toes.
My friends and I continued to gab until Jessica asked, Whos that guy staring at you?
I looked up at him and said, Hi, Im Tess.
Have we met before?
What do you do?
He responded with just a bit of importance, Im an actor.
I recently moved here from New York.
His accent also gave him away.
In my head I thought, Noooo, not an actor.
Be anything, just not an actor.
But the immediate and palpable chemistry between us quickly erased my hesitation over his chosen profession.
I asked if I could see his hat.
He took it off and out flopped this thick, wavy black hair.
Hmm…yes, this will do.
Max agreed but asked for my phone number first, and I obliged.
He then said, Dont leave without saying goodbye.
Yes, I was intrigued, but he was an actor.
Besides, he had my number…if he calls, he calls, I told myself.
As I walked in my door that night, my phone was ringing.
I picked it up.
Hey, this is Max.
You left without saying goodbye.
Can I come by and say good night to you?
Hmmm, is this guy going to chop me up into pieces?
As polite as I could muster at 1:40 a.m., I answered, Oh, I dont think so.
I wont even stay five minutes.
I just want to see you, he persisted.
In hindsight, maybe it was not the smartest idea, but for some reason I agreed.
No less than 10 minutes later, I heard a knock on my door.
When I opened it, there was Max.
We stood there, looking into each others eyes, smiling.
And there it was again, that sci-fi lightning bolt connecting us.
I finally said to cut the tension.
Then he went in for the kiss.
It rendered me speechless.
Max pulled away and said, Now thats how you say good night!
As he stepped back, he took off his red wool beanie and handed it to me.
My thoughts were a jumble: Whats this for?
I remained quiet while he turned on his heel to walk back to his car.
I knew I looked confused.
And with that, he got back into his car and drove away.
True to his word, this all went down in the span of five minutes.
Well, I thought, that was something.
What the actual fuck?
Excerpted fromWEVE DECIDED TO GO IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION(Essays)by Tess Sanchez.
Copyright 2025 by TESS SANCHEZ.
Reprinted by permission of GALLERY BOOKS, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, LLC.
