If you’ve been hearing a lot about orgasmic meditation (OM) lately, you’re not alone.
And in recent years the technique has gone from taboo to more widely recognized as beneficial.
But what is it really?
Channing Smith for Glamour
And what, if anything, can it do for you?
What is orgasmic meditation?
It is not masturbation, which is defined as the erotic stimulation of ones own genitals.
Getting off is neither the focus nor something to be actively avoided during this kind of meditation.
The beauty of OM lies partly in the goalless nature of it.
Think of OM as a tool for tapping into a heightened state of human connection and consciousness.
And the restorative effects are thought to linger long after an OM session ends.
We’re kind of taking that erotic impulse and extracting it from the realm of sex, Fuller says.
That’s usually the only place where you’re free to access it.
Liketraditional meditationand wellness practices, Fuller says OM is an attention-training practice.
It’s actually letting your attention stretch out into every single stroke that occurs in that 15 minutes.
But OM’s benefits extend to everyone involved.
Besides that, it doesn’t play into it as much as you might think.
There’s a stroker position, but that stroker position is also a receiving position in a sense.
Both the stroker and the strokee are plugging into something.
They’re plugging into this mystical state, and they both get full access to it.
What are the benefits of orgasmic meditation?
For some people that can really reduce anxiety and heighten enjoyment.
Im not expected to climax, says Ansari.
Im not expected to perform.
Im not even expected to be sexy.
Im just expected to feel.
And that nourishment is something that nourishes your whole life.
Here there is no other reason than to share the experience.
For him, the idea of doing it was just out of this world.
But he wanted to save the marriage and save the relationship.
The initial result was unexpected: OM brought up unspoken issues between them.
Sometimes when he comes back, its very hard to find that immediate rapport.
So [I’ll say], Lets have an OM.
and all the appearance things.
Connectedslow sexcan be even more powerful than going harder and faster.
The benefits of OM deepen and expand" over time beyond your sex life, according to Fuller.
It has you start to consider: What’s my calling?
What’s my purpose?
What do I want to do with my life?
We’ve had parents say that it totally transforms how they parent their children and their communication.
How to try orgasmic meditation
Learn your way around.
One such parameter is how the stroker and the strokee should communicate during the OM.
It’s not totally silent, but it is a really specific container, Fuller says.
Or the stroker may ask the strokee, Would you like me to stroke with a little more pressure?
So there is communication that’s occurring in the OM.
And the strokee may be making sounds.
She may be moving the energy through her voice, through the sound in a natural way.
But there are no mantras or anything like that.
You could alsosign up for coachingortake a daylong introductory classif seeing a live demonstration would be helpful.
If you’re partnered, this will be a no-brainer.
But if you’re single, no worries!
You probably already know someone (ormultiple someones) who’d be interested in OMing with you.
It’s a practice involving genitals, says Fuller.
So the automatic thought is, Oh, it should be done with an intimate partner.
You could even find a new friend and ask, Would you like to try this practice with me?
You could do it with one person.
You could do it with a number of people if you wanted to.
People design their practice however they’re comfortable with it.
Some couples do it monogamously.
Some people have multiple people that they do it with.
And then they go to them and say, Crazy idea.
Want to try this thing with me?
They oftentimes say yes.
Fuller says her students and clients often ask themselves, Am I doing it right?
Or they question whether or not they’re feeling enough or even therightthing.
Strokers are often very concerned with the technique, she says.
They’re like, Is this the right length, and is my positioning correct?
Her advice: Yeah, you do lie there.
And you’re doing something with your attention.
