Pamela Anderson and I meet on a sweltering-hot July afternoon on Manhattans Upper East Side.
Its cute, right?
Anderson apologises that she is tired.
I have such a mushy head!
Im still in the movie mode.
Im still in the come-down, she confesses in that soft yet familiar singsongy lilt.
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We were shooting nights a lot too.
So I still feel like Im stumbling on my words and feel a little bit out of it!
Its quite the impenetrable monologue, punctuated only by the odd nervous giggle.
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She is self-deprecating and funny.
And she shocks me more than once by revealing she has battled with deep insecurities surrounding her image.
Its not a vegan cookbook.
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I just have so many vegetables in my garden!
Im always canning and pickling and making sauces and just trying to find cool ways to cook vegetables.
But industry buzz aside, Anderson has most definitely entered a new era.
After a lifetime of being objectified, she is seizing back control.
Anderson has clearly thought a lot about being one ofGlamours two Global Women of the Year.
Its really an honour to be chosen…but I want to be careful with all of it.
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I want to have integrity, she tells me.
Why do you want me to be Woman of the Year?
Because Im living my authentic life, because Im making these choices.
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As such, Anderson is keen to be involved in the creative process of our cover shoot.
And it is something we will discuss in more detail later.
Cummings at points during our chat.
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Sometimes I write things before I do interviews, because I like to write.
And I feel like, Okay, then I can just get it out of my head.
At times I get the impression she has memorised it, like a script.
This been my hardest work over the past few years, to really identify that.
Well, its shedding those layers, those protective layers, she says thoughtfully.
I realised as a very young child, I was playing roles my whole life.
I had such a strong imagination.
And its just what I did.
I didnt realise that was a career.
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What is a Playmate?
What is a rock stars wife?
What is aBaywatch[star]?
As Anderson highlights, the past few years have been a process of reflection.
And 2023 was a big one, with the publication of herNew York Timesbest-selling memoir,Love, Pamela.
So they [her parents] live in one cabin, and I have two houses that are mine.
I always say I meet my mom in the vegetable garden and we get along just fine.
If were in the garden, its all roses, really!
After graduating from high school, she worked as a fitness instructor and in a tanning salon.
Anderson would go on to appear on the mostPlayboycovers of all time.
Other thanBaywatchs CJ, Andersons most famous movie role was the titular heroine in 1996s critically pannedBarb Wire.
As a model she has fronted campaigns forMarc Jacobs,Vivienne Westwood, and lately,Pandora.
Anderson has also used her platform to carve a well-respected career as an animal-rights activist and outspoken political advocate.
(The pair famously got married on the beach in Cancun just four days after getting together.)
They filed, lost, and settled several lawsuits in their attempts to get the distribution halted.
I didnt go after any bad boys.
Bad boys came after me!
The tape, watched by millions, was arguably the first viral moment of the internet.
And she says that trauma was exacerbated byPam & Tommy.
They [Hulu] never called me.
Ive never had any input.
I didnt know anything about it, she tells me.
And so they just dug up some interview, she says.
But I had nothing to do with this documentary.
They begged everybody around me.
They tried to get my kids to talk me into it.
They said theyd give them producer credits.
I mean, they were trying everything.
And I said, No, I really dont want to go backwards.
The sex tape scandal was clearly a turning point for Anderson, a seminal moment from which everything changed.
It hit me a lot harder than I even imagined, she tells me.
It really felt like another kick in the stomach that people might find that entertaining.
And that was…I think I lost my husband, my sanity, my career.
In the moment I didnt realise it, she says.
Its like post-traumatic, and so then you just start acting out.
In this world, its really important how you manage your career.
And I was just Wild West-ing it.
I ask her how she coped with it.
However, later she says something that startles me, revealing that she still struggles with her identity.
Even when I hear my name, I dont like it.
I have a negative connotation with it, she says.
I still have a stereotype of myself almost.
And so its been hard work to try and get rid of that because Im a woman.
I find this really heartbreaking.
The whole sex tape scandal was, quite evidently, a form of abuse.
And abuse is something that has sadly shaped Andersons life from an early age.
In her memoir, Pamela openly discusses her parents often-violent relationship.
Barry and Carol split briefly but reconciled and are still together today.
I ask her how she maintains a close relationship with her father, having witnessed what she did.
There were many times where I didnt want her to stay in it.
But they worked it out.
Theyre madly in love, she says.
And I just accepted their relationship is theirs; its not my business.
And I love my dad.
My dad is such an interesting person.
Hes in Mensa, the familys Finnish.
Is this what made her go after bad boys?
I ask, and she quickly responds: I didnt go after any bad boys.
Bad boys came after me!
Am I going to be miserable?
Or am I going to be self-accepting?
Andersons tempestuous romantic life has been well-documented.
She even dedicates the final words of her memoir to him, when writing about their sons.
Its no secret, she writes.
Both you boys are born from a rare kind of romantic love.
Which leads me to Tommy.
Thank you for just being you, and for being the catalyst for everything good in my life.
Lee was later sentenced to six months in jail on the spousal abuse charge.
The pair then reconciled many times before eventually ending it for good in 2009.
I knew after my marriage and things that happened, it was just fodder, she says.
Pour a bottle all over my[self]… Ha ha, look at me.
I was always invited out to be the life of the party.
She tells me she felt that she became a caricature of herself.
Im a Halloween costume, everywhere you turn, she says wryly.
A coping mechanism to distract from her reality.
It mightve been some kind of protective shield, she says, nodding.
I was on these shows…everything was photographed.
So I just kind of played along with it.
Whats my career going to be?
And then people just offered me stuff that fed that character, so thats what it became.
And Im glad its over.
Im glad its put behind me.
Ive just done it and Ive played with it, she says of makeup.
Am I going to be miserable?
Or am I going to be self-accepting?
And its a practice.
Instead of trying to be this polished person, Id rather be raw.
This process is really empowering.
I know it seems a little bit crazy.
Its important, no matter where you are in your beauty journey, to accept yourself as you are.
And right now Im having a big moment accepting scars I have or imperfections.
One eye is smaller than the other, my nose is crooked, my lips are weird.
Im definitely much happier now.
Ten years ago, I felt like a failure.
I think it was probably the last 20 years, maybe.
This revelation makes me wonder how she has coped with hermental healththroughout her life.
Was she ever depressed?
And you’re free to also numb yourself out.
Did you do that?
I hung around with a lot of fun artists, she tells me.
Youd never think of yourself as an addict in any way?
No, no, no.
Never went that way.
I mean, I was around a lot of themand married to them, too!
But no…I have a glass of rose every once in a while.
Im not sober, but I dontdrink, especially when Im working.
What saved my lifeand you never want to put this on your kidswere my boys.
She came to my show in Las Vegas, she tells me.
I still have her jacket with a ticket to the magic show in her pocket.
Definitely, she agrees.
Because without my boys, I wouldnt have been able to be as strong as I was.
I had to be strong for my boys.
And I also had to leave Tommy for my boys, she says.
And that made me feel a little bit better about all the crap that was out there about me.
I might as well put it to use.
Im sorry to say that I didnt know if that was going to happen.
I didnt know if we were going to lose him in prison.
I ask her if theyve spoken since he was released.
I havent, but Im going to soon.
And I have talked to some people that are with him right now, so Im just close enough.
Its a little bit overwhelming for him and theres a lot going on.
I ask her if things became romantic on this frisky, fun, alcohol-induced night.
I dont know what you call romantic, but no!
Four oclock in the morning could be 12 in the afternoon.
But just leaving the embassy at that hour, I thought, What are people going to think?
No, itsveryscary, she says.
I wouldnt say Im a Republican or a Democrat.
I dont know what I am.
Obviously more Democrat than Republican.
OfDonald Trumps potential second term, she is, however, very clear.
You definitely dont want a sexual predator in the White House.
I feel very strongly about that.
And that should just be it…thats my red line.
And its something she herself acknowledges.
I dont know what it is.
My soul, I always feel a little bit achy.
Shes hard on herselfunfairly so at times, I feel.
But despite all this, I leave our meeting with one very clear takeaway about Pamela Anderson.
Im finding I feel more comfortable in my skin now than I probably have in the last 30 years.
But I didnt realise it until now, she says.
And I really do believe her.
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