It was January 8when everything reached peak surreal.
Wed spent the morning by the beach, at Dana Point, and the afternoon at the mall.
And then they spotted a Ferris wheel and begged to ride it.
Paula James-Martinez with her daughter seated for a portrait
What other answer was there than yes?
Because thats what happens when youre parenting through complete disaster.
Some were trying to carve out moments of normalcy.
Paula James-Martinez’s daughter Luna on the Ferris wheel in Irvine, California
But others messaged with heartbreaking news, homes already lost to the fires.
All the while, we stayed on the ride.
Anything to distract the kids.
Firefighters battle the Eaton Fire in strong winds as many homes burn on January 7, 2025 in Pasadena, California.
Anything to stop them from asking questions we didnt have the answers to.
Thats the thing about parenting:You often feel like a crisis PR manager.
Because no matter whats happening, they still need the bathroom.
James-Martinez, her husband, her daughter, and her friend’s son at Dana Point
They still complain about brown bananas.
And theyre still bored.
But as the winds howled and it started to get dark.
Julie Sawaya, her husband, and their three children at their home in the Palisades before the fire
I remember thinking, Good thing I stocked up on snacks.
A single-mom friend showed up with her seven-year-old son in tow.
So we let the kids eat all the leftover holiday chocolate.
Sawaya’s home after the fire had destroyed everything
That ended that night too.
When the power went out around 9 p.m., we rationed iPads.
Eventually the kids crashed out.
Willie Larson and her daughter, Della
The adults stayed up all night, glued to updates as the fire perimeter expanded.
The only option for miles was a single Starbucks that had a generator.
The next few days passed in a haze.
Emily Ulmer and her daughter, Clementine.
But mostly they just asked for snacks.
What would happen to all the people and businesses that are the fabric of our everyday lives?
Its a stunningly beautiful place.
Emily and Clementine at Disneyland, the day after the fire had destroyed their home
Oh, I dont know, really.
The house is gone, she said.
But here we all are, ordering food like its some particularly dark season ofWhite Lotus.
Caitlin Chambers, Evan, and their two children before the fires.
I found her crying and gently asked if she could tell me why.
I offered, trying to reassure her.
She shook her head and said she didnt want to talk about it but could write it instead.
The damage done by the fire to their property
At this point I questioned my own decisions about trying to keep the worst of the news from Luna.
She selected stuffies of her own that could be offered up as comfort.
But life feels more surreal and overwhelming than ever.
Dawn McCoy and her son Waylon before the fires
The sky is blue though apparently still toxic.
Just this week Lunas friend Edie turned eight.
The bounce house venue, Fun Box, generously donated the space for free.
When we arrived, the adults were doing their best to hold back tears.
Half of them had lost their homes.
Luna was one of only two kids who still had a school to attend.
Yet amidst it all, the kids had a simple philosophy: Bounceitll make you happy.
So we all joined in.
Strangely enough, it did help, even if just a little.
Maybe its a metaphor for what the kids are teaching us.
I just knew that we would lose our house.
She was on maternity leave when the evacuation order arrived.
The family lost their home in the fires.
After I fed the baby, my daughters school announced an evacuation due to a small brush fire nearby.
Traffic was at a standstill as the fire spread across the Santa Monica Mountains, heading toward our house.
When I got home an evacuation order was issued for our neighborhood.
Fearing another traffic jam, we left with almost nothing, not realizing we wouldnt be coming back.
We even left my husbands car behind, just to stay together and get to safety.
We had cameras on the house but lost access around 5:15 p.m. when the power was shut off.
An hour later we started getting fire and smoke alerts from our alarm company.
I just knew that we would lose our house.
We got confirmation of it the next day from a neighbor.
I told them that we will always keepthemsafe, even if we cant keep our house safe.
And that we have everything we need with us, because we are together.
But kids are resilient.
They lost their home.
It didnt cause damage, but it freaked me out enough that at 4 p.m.
The next day we learned our house was gone.
That being said, I can see she has been affected by this.
She is normally a very easy-going toddler, but shes been extra clingy, fussy, and angry.
Which is completely understandable.
She is out of her routine, not surrounded by any of the things that are familiar to her.
Im definitely trying to navigate the best way to talk to her about this.
It takes my mind off things, but holy moly, I am exhausted.
If youd like to support, you could find Willie Larson’s fundraiser on GoFundMe.
My daughters seventh birthday was the day after the fire.
Emily Ulmer and her daughter, Clementine.
Emily Ulmer, aphotographerand single mom to seven-year-old daughter Clementine, lived in Altadena.
She also lost her home and their school.
She says:
It had been a rough start to the year.
First my seven-year-old and I had the flu over the holidays.
My daughter, Clementine, was safely spending time with her dad in Glendale.
I went to bed that night not thinking the worst.
I woke up Wednesday morning to a text from another friend to say my street had been evacuated.
I couldnt believe what I was hearing.
It didnt seem possible for everything to happen so quickly.
Because I hadnt been back, I wasnt able to retrieve anything from my home.
I now only owned two dresses and a laptop.
I lost everything, my lifes belongings, including all my camera equipment.
To say its been a surreal time is an understatement.
My daughters seventh birthday was the day after the fire, on Thursday.
We waited to tell her about what had happened.
So we were able to use that to prolong the inevitable.
We pretended that a surprise trip to Disneyland was always what we had planned.
It wasnt at all.
It was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do in my life.
Weve done all we can to make it feel like an exciting opportunity.
But the scale of the devastation is overwhelming.
We lost not only our home but also our entire community and town.
What matters most to me right now is ensuring my daughter feels safe and secure.
Im committed to reassuring her that this was a rare event and that her next home wont burn down.
Were taking it one day at a time.
If youd like to support, you’re able to find Emily Ulmers fundraiser on GoFundMe.
I havent fully processed it emotionally.
I feel like I havent had a complete response yet.
Part of it is because of the kids.
Caitlin Chambers, Evan, and their two children before the fires.
We lived on Mountain View, near Mountain View Cemetery, and the devastation was total.
As for my reaction, I wanted to vomit.
I think a lot of mothers might feel the same way.
But even now, a week later, I havent fully processed it emotionally.
I feel like I havent had a complete response yet.
Part of it is because of the kids.
Edie is eight, and John is four.
I feel like I cannot break down because of them.
Even so, they knew something was wrong, even before we told themfour days after it had happened.
I was researching ways to explain natural disasters to children in a healthy way.
I think they sensed the gravity of the situation, but they didnt cry initially when we told them.
Their responses actually surprised me.
She mentioned a man we know as Bone and his friends.
These are people we see regularly, whose names we know, and she was worried about them.
People still havent seen Bone.
I really hope he’s okay.
We had lived in that house for eight and a half yearsit was everything to us.
Losing it has been profound.
Probably more than I can understand yet.
My husband is very much a take-charge kind of person, Eagle Scout energy.
Hes great in emergencies.
But I find myself taking on more of the emotional labor, tending to the kids feelings and needs.
Right now I think were doing okay.
The kids are healthy, and weve received so much support.
I feel like resources should go to families who are struggling more than we are.
We hosted Edies eighth birthday party organized by friends.
In that way, the love we have been shown means we are lucky.
She is also a single mom to her son, Waylon, age five, who is disabled.
He doesnt yet talk or walk, or sit or stand independently.
The idea of evacuating under pressure with a child who cannot walk is beyond terrifying.
At least 20 of them lost their homes.
I also tapped into Waylons love of music to be a kind of therapy for us.
Our home, located in Mid-City, ultimately remained safe.
However, the smell of smoke lingered everywhere, and I noticed a significant uptick in Waylons epileptic seizures.
Honestly, the hardest part is just feeling the devastating heartbreak and loss of my friends and fellow Angelenos.
But youre right now in the middle of Where am I?
Youre kind of in a purgatory.
