Shed wake up in the middle of the night laughing uncontrollably.
If youre a girl, youre called crazy.
Now the 50-year-old knows that its been much, much longer than that.
Gilbert Flores/Getty Images
I just thought I was a hugely emotional person, she said.
The vomiting or body issues were terrifying, [and the] baldness or rashes, she said.
I remember being very, very poorly onHellboyand was diagnosed with cat scratch fever and possible leukemia in Prague.
Blair and Applegate in 2003.
I couldnt tell anybody.
I fell apart once I got back to LA.
I got drunk that night.
Eventually, I was put in my sister Katies bed with her.
In the morning, I didnt remember how Id gotten there.
Over the years, the anxiety-quelling habit grew, until she was a teenage alcoholic.
Alcohol was a crutch, and Blairs life felt out of control.
As an adult, the lassitude and anxiety became terrifying, actually, she told BritishVogue.I made mistakes.
In essence, because of her, Im going to have a better quality of life.
Blair and Applegate in 2003.
If I can help remove stigma or over-curiosity in a crowd for someone else, then thats great.
With my previous doctor, I put on a good face, because he was a man.
We had a joking relationship.
I wanted him to think I was doing well, even though I would say, Im beyond tired….
I cant stay awake.
I wish he wouldve taken me more seriously, she says.
So Id like to counterbalance it by being really honest about how I am.
This article was originally published inVanity Fair.
