Since Iwas17 and often stopped by my boyfriends house for sex before A.P.
Calculusthe thought was laughable.
Well, Im 55 years old, twice divorced, and just off a year of five simultaneous boyfriends.
Getty Images / Bella Geraci
Im thrilled to report that, for me, the book was correct.
I now enjoy sex even more in my 50s than I did as a younger woman.
By 2030,1.2 billion womenwill be menopausal, grappling with seismic physical, emotional, and sociological changes.
We dont talk much aboutaging and female sexuality.
But the fact is many women enjoy sex after menopause more fullyand have more intense orgasmswhen they reach midlife.
Despite a troubled marriage, Id never had affairs.
I happily vowed to never have sex again.
Take Rhonda,* a 59-year-old social worker.
Shes been married for 33 years and is the mother of six children.
Last week I got hit on by a 25-year-old, she says.
The frequency and importance of sex in her life, however, has diminished.
When I was younger and had hormones, I was more sexual, she says.
Today I need to focus on sex to enjoy it.
I havedry eyes,a dry vagina, dry everything.
If my husband passed away, I wouldnt go out looking for anyone else to have sex with.
Michele Taipale, a 60-year-old executive coach in California, has had a markedly different sexual arc.
Ive shed all the sexual baggage I carried in my 30s, she says.
Its sexy to be able to say yesand noto pleasure without feeling my ego is at risk.
She is one of those lucky women whoseorgasmsincrease in intensity with age.
When I was younger, I had a few orgasms at a time.
Now its more like five to six in every session, she says.
I have longer, more full-bodied,increasingly bigger orgasmsnow.
They are often downright spiritual.
Im more confident, forthright, and comfortable in my body at this age, she says.
PTSD and hormonal changes shut down her sexuality for almost a decade.
Even masturbation with a penetrating vibrator was traumatic.
And then it was like the sexual Olympics, she says with a laugh.
Now married for over 10 years, both she and her husband take prescription hormones for medical conditions.
They long ago settled into a routine of infrequent sex every other month or so.
During quarantine, she started a Topless Tuesday tradition to spark their sex life.
Sure, I miss young, sensual, spontaneous, lube-free sex, Jade says.
But the assault taught me that sex is not love.
I get love from my husband every day, and thats what I value most in a partner.
And then there is Sasha.
Before immigrating to the United States, shed spent her earliest years in Bulgaria.
In my early years, sex wasnt about my pleasure.
All my fantasies were about kissing and weddings.
I never once wanted to get fucked.
She married one of these partners and had two children.
She also became a professor at a Texas university, a best-selling author, and a popular lecturer.
After years of her being faithful, sex with her husband began to feel platonic.
A drunken kiss with a colleague awakened her raging libido.
I love my husband and find him attractive, she says.
But I get aroused by variety.
Im transparent about wanting sex, and my vibe is confident, easy-going, and adventurous, she says.
I needed men, and I needed a lot of them.
Erotic adventures with younger, appreciative male partners led me back to myself.
I also jettisoned the need to gratify men and conform to societal ideas of a good wife and mother.
*Name and identifying personal details have been changed.
Visit her via herwebsite,Facebook,Instagram,LinkedInandTwitter.
