A woman behind the desk waved me over, letting me jump the line.
Strangers pity was one of the few perks of being extremely, uncomfortably pregnant.
What are you here for?
Tochange my name, I replied.
She nodded and started my tool.
As she took my information, she giggled.
You sure you dont want to change your first name?
I tried to do something squiggly.
I had no makeup on, just 50 extra pounds of what well generously call baby weight.
Suddenly this all seemed like a great way to give yourself an identity crisis at 36.
But the voice I still hear that holds the most judgment about changing my name is my younger self.
To her, that all looked like real loser behavior.
No one asked me to change my name.
Not my family, not his family, and definitely not my husband.
What made you want to?
Are you happy you did it?
What about your career?
But the voice I still hear that holds the most judgment about changing my name is my younger self.
To her, that all looked like real loser behavior.
I feel like Ive betrayed her.
Even throughout my 20s, I believedchoosing your partner every daywas infinitely more romantic than being married.
But as I got older, I started to think maybe there was something noncommittal underneath that idea.
Maybe I did want to get married and have a baby.
Was that really so bad?
Get your Pinterest boards ready.
I clearly and definitively wanted Joe to be my family.
Both his parents were now gone, and the loss of his mother was especially crushing.
I wanted him to know I was there, no matter what, forever.
That all of the unconditional love in his life hadnt left this earth with his mother.
We got engaged within weeks.
We got pregnant six months later and married at city hall.
We now have a daughter named after his mother, and I love our little family.
I love that were the Kicaks.
After years of toiling away on these decisions, the answers came surprisingly easily and quickly.
Id also argue that being Karen Moore #9 on IMDb wasnt helping me that much.
That who you decided you were at any point in your life isnt who you have to be forever.
That if you want something, do it.
Even if its embarrassing.
Karen Kicakis a television writer and filmmaker.
She is the co-showrunner, executive producer, and writer on the International Emmynominated comedy seriesWorkin' Momsfor Netflix/CBC.
