Want to have more sex?
You should try scheduling it.
Things have come a long way since then.
Channing Smith
For one, I realize there are better ways to schedule sex than what I did.
), I understand the importance of setting time aside for intimacy and the relationship overall.
(I did not.)
Most things in life require preparation.
Why should intimacy be any different?
Without strategy, sex becomes theoreticalthe We should get together sometime!
If you don’t sit down and schedule it, it very well might not happen.
First of all, yes.
Know that its completely normal for couples to have less sex over time.
This also doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your relationship.
She points to children, work, and caregiving as examples.
Alternatively, it could be as simple as the dynamic having changed over time.
At this point,sex can declinein the face of drama.
The most obvious benefit of scheduling sex?
The fact that it tends to lead to having more sex more often.
They needed it on the schedule to slow down and connect.
Plus, scheduling it is simply realistic.
And before you kick off to worry, none of this means spontaneous sex stops being a possibility.
Having a delicious connection now does not mean you cant enjoy each other again later.
Its not piewe dont run out.
You’re scheduling time forintimacyinstead.
Whatever happens in that container can still be spur-of-the-moment, without thetimingof it being spur-of-the-moment, says Wright.
How you choose to schedule sex and intimacy depends on you and your partner.
For others, its more of a conversation.
We would go on dates, then get home and fall asleep.
Hence their mutual decision to schedule the act in advance.
The way they go about it is simple, she says.
I’ve been thinking about you all week.
Would that be okay with you if we got home early that day so we can make that happen?
As long as we have the conversation beforehand, this always works.
Scheduling containers for physical intimacy are really important, whether or not that includes penetrative sex, Wright clarifies.
I define sex as a meaningful experience of pleasure.
Notice that it doesnt say anything about body parts, penetration, gendernothing.
Its a meaningful experience of pleasure.
Her thoughts on what that looks like?
Commit to creating and keeping the container.
As for how to keep that containersexy?
Spice is relative to the person, so be in tune with what excites you and your partner.
There are a few apps andcard gamesthat couples can use to have conversations about fantasies.
If you’re free to imagine it, it can happen.
You are doing this together and communicating your feelings that are coming up.
Fun and spontaneity are overrated and, honestly, not sexy, she says.
But you know what is sexy?
Teasing, suspense, and a long-awaited orgasm that you’ve been thinking about for hoursor days.
Penciling it in doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?
