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If you feel an immediate sense of dread at the thought of broaching the topic of What are we?
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with someone youre hooking up with or casually dating, youre not aloneat least among theGlamourstaff.
Kudos to them, because I dont think I could have ever been as brave.
Its terrifying to put yourself out there, especially if you dont know how the other person feels.
Here are their tips for how to have the What are we?
Know when its the right time to define the relationshipand when it isnt.
That being said, there is such a thing as bringing up your relationship status too soon.
Dont ruin a blooming connection by pushing for too much too soon.
It depends on a lot of variables, and it also depends on howyoufeel, Stratyner says.
Some people dont feel that way and are very happy with things being low stakes and casual.
you better listen to your gut.
Remind yourself that its okay andhealthyto ask for what you want.
The worst thing that could happen is that the person says no, she says.
What are you looking for?
We always hear people say, So what are we?
Its an ambiguous question, and then the other person doesnt really know what youre hoping to hear.
So its always good to start off with your needs at the forefront.
Dont be afraid of scaring them off.
If it is your person, nothing will keep them away.
If youre the person asking, What are we?
If their response is to ghost you and stop talking to you, thats not a good sign.
Have the conversation face-to-face.
For the love of god, dont have the talk via texts, saysGlamourcopy editor Charlotte Twine.
Experts agree: This is sound dating advice.
Choose the right setting.
Dont start the chat with We need to talk.
Avoid them at all costs.
Be honest if youre feeling nervous.
Youre allowed to have butterflies about both the talk and also what it means.
Its normaland your potential partner is probably in the same boat.
Some people are more afraid of committing to the wrong person than they are of a long-term relationship itself.
The conversation doesnt have to be serious just because the topic is.
you might say something like, Im no longer looking to find dates.
Happily took my profile down today.
That may open up the conversation.
If they respond, Why would you do that?
thats probably a sign theyre not ready.
If they smile and say theyve done the same, the conversation will be much easier.
The first thing we always tell people is to not make it a big deal, she says.
What do you think about that?
What might you say?
Is this something you are looking for as well?
Is this something you see happening with us?
What might that look like to you?
Give the person time to think.
Your love interest may not have an answer for you right away, and thats okay!
It doesnt have to be resolved right then and there, says Shield.
Youre just planting a seed.
Dont get discouraged if the talk doesnt go how you hoped.
If you have the What are we?
Keep looking for the right person who is ready for the commitment that you desire.
Remember that if another person doesnt want what you want it has nothing to do with you.
Remember that this may take more than one conversation.
That way neither of you are too surprised at the outcome.
Decide whether to walk away or wait it out.
Have heaps of compassion for yourself for how hard it was to walk away.
When your stress level goes up your self-care must go up just as much to keep you in balance.
