What is a unicorn in dating, you ask?
They’re not as mythical or difficult to find as the moniker makes them sound.
Straight couples aren’t the only ones looking for threesomes.
Niko Tavernise/Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures
Certainly bisexual women aren’t the only people who are looking to hook up with couples.
And unicorns aren’t necessarily single either.
Below, get the scoop on how to attractor becomea unicorn with tips from some ofGlamour’s favorite sexperts.
So what does it mean to be someones unicorn?
What is a unicorn in dating?
The role is flexible, but generally speaking, unicorn dating is acasual sexarrangement.
With the unicorn, usually it’s really just looking sexuallyfor sexual gain.
I wasn’t there to create a situation that was equal between all three of us.
She’s the something extra, as she puts it.
Why do couples want a unicorn?
A couple might choose tohave a threesomewith a unicorn for a myriad of reasons.
The most obvious of which is that it can be genuinely hot and rewarding for everyone involved.
The fantasy of it is that it’s someone hot and nonthreatening, says Rennie.
And that’s really not true.
How do you tell whether a couple wants you as a unicorn?
That’s where Clark decided to look for a relationship a trois afterher wedding was canceled.
If you’re not feeling like hanging out, you just don’t.
If there’s a disagreement or fight, you just leave.
The couple, however, is stuck with each other.
The key iscommunicating clear boundariesand then sticking to them.
Clark wanted something casual, and she gave a hard no to anything too serious.
Feeld is how Lola Jean has met pretty much all of the couples she’s unicorned for.
She has also used Feeld to find fellow singles for a threesome.
And to do it without assumptions.
I know a lot of people who specifically will avoid anyone who says they are unicorn hunting.
Because, I mean, you could also say we’re looking for a group-sex experience.
You don’t have to put a unicorn emoji, you don’t have to say the term unicorn.
The same point comes across.
Rennie recommends couples be forthright in their profiles and clearly denote nonmonogamy when possible.
Here’s the pictures of both of us.
If you’re a couple, swipe right.
Another Rennie-approved option to consider is negotiating group sex with someone you already know.
Maybe we can talk about that.'
And then had really great experiences hooking up with them.
It doesn’t always have to be total strangers.
What are the benefits of being a unicorn?
I had never been in a romantic relationship at all, she says.
It was nice to pop in and out of people’s dynamics, ask them questions.
It’s almost like I was shopping for what kind of relationship I wanted for myself.
I wouldn’t adopt that, but it was a cute ritual to have.
Another perk of being a unicorn is that you only have to worry about yourself.
You’re not responsible for that couple," she continues.
It is a lot easier and a lot less loaded.
It’s fine, Lola Jean says.
Group sex as a couple and a single isn’t a bad thing at all, she says.
you oughta ask yourself so many questions before you get there.
But you don’t.
Really discuss with people, Do you get off on watching?
so you’re free to understand, Lola Jean says.
Know beforehand if it’s something they enjoy or not.
If it’s not, what’s a way we can get you involved?
Let’s also brainstorm together different three-person positions that all of us like and are into.
Those are the things you don’t always think about.
Involvement in a threesome doesn’t necessarily mean having a mouth or hand on someone’s genitals, either.
The same tenet applies to verbal cues, as well as visual ones.
If you’re going to have safewords, have them for the three of you, Lola Jean says.
It’s not just about the couple.
I always say to people, It’s still dating, Lola Jean says.
You have a significant other and you’re getting a third person.
I’m just sitting next to you.
One of the ways couples can sometimes be wittingly or unwittingly inconsiderate to the unicorn is vetoing.
If one person’s uncomfortable with it, they decide what all the rules are, Lola Jean says.
And again, remember: Dating etiquette still applies.
This is a new relationship.
So kind, clear communication before, during, and after the threesome isn’t optional.
If you think ghosting is bad, trygetting ghostedby a couple.
As always, communication is important.
In the moment it can be a shock to the system.
That can sometimes be destabilizing and scary.
Sometimes it’s the three of you all rolling around together, Rennie says.
A successful threesome isn’t necessarily three people having sex with each other at the same time.
It could be lots of different things happening in the course of the encounter.
Certainly you’re able to bring in kink.
And as with any kind of sexuality, it’s not just a man penetrates a woman.
you could do all kinds of stuff that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having penetrative sex.
Sometimes it’s just fun to have somebody else in the room.
The study’s findings speak to a bias Lola Jean has observed in the field.
Would you be willing to do this?
Couples can even put something in their profile to indicate their intent to get tested too.
Hanna Lustig is the staff writer atGlamour.
