As a certifiedsex therapist and neuroscientist, I get asked tons of questions about sex and menopause.
For some, even having a conversation about menopause is associated with dread and distress.
But good sex matters forolder adultstoo.
bombardir / Getty Images
Before you sink into despair, lets take a look at the good news about menopause.
As detailed in my bookWhy Good Sex Matters,our capacity for sexual potential is a lifelong journey.
Heres what you better know about sex and menopause.
Your sex drive changesand thats okay.
Periods start to become irregular as ovulation becomes less frequent, and then the fun begins.
The most common symptom is hot flashes, which occur in up to 80% of women.
These last 2 to 4 minutes and can be accompanied by palpitations, anxiety, shivering, and chills.
It doesnt sound very sexy.
Its true the symptoms of perimenopause can create discomfort that puts a damper on your libido.
And when you dont feel well, youre not likely to feel frisky.
Thats a big reason for the drop-off of sexual desire many women report during this transition period.
In other words, if your active desire gets lost in the wake of perimenopausal symptoms, dont panic.
Learning how to stokeresponsive desirecan help you find your way back to pleasure.
Menopause is not the end of orgasms.
For some, menopause symbolizes the end of their sex lives as they know it.
It feels like a looming, dooming, inevitable slide into sexual retirement as their libido crashes and burns.
But that doesnt have to be your menopausal destiny.
Thats when she revamped her life and made sexual pleasure a big priority.
Attitude is everything.
How you think about menopause matters, in other words.
For many years, the typical approach to menopause in our country was to medicalize it.
Menopause isnt a diseaseits a natural transition.
And it will help your sex life to think of it that way.
We harbor a lot of beliefs about aging and sexuality that may negatively contribute to our experience of menopause.
This kind of ageism is a bigger quashing of our libidos than any kind of hormonal change.
In addition,cultural factorscan loom large.
Some cultures focus on the loss of procreation as a big deal.
Loving your bodyas isis important.
Menopause is a good time to address relationship issues.
Menopause is going to take a bigger toll if you are experiencing relationship strife.
A big factor in increased menopause symptoms ismarital discord.
The good news is thatgood communication toolscan help improve the quality of your relationship.
Investigate options with your doctor.
Menopause is a great time to get more assertive about prioritizing your own self-care.
Adding instress-management strategiesis a good complement to any approach.
